


Heaven Never Felt Like This

by likezoinxman



Category: Big Time Rush
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Basically everything is the same as canon, Fluff, Kendall just has wings, M/M, Wingfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-05
Updated: 2013-07-05
Packaged: 2017-12-17 17:32:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/870136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likezoinxman/pseuds/likezoinxman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wing!AU. Kendall needs help with his wings, fortunately Carlos is always willing to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heaven Never Felt Like This

**Author's Note:**

  * For [countmeaway](https://archiveofourown.org/users/countmeaway/gifts).



> For Trina because of reasons. Those reasons being that she's awesome and I love her.
> 
> Thanks to [Agent J](http://archiveofourown.org/users/jaded_jane) for the beta and title.

Kendall shifted uncomfortably against the couch, rubbing his back against the cushion. He and Carlos were up late, watching television since neither could sleep. Kendall because of his back, and Carlos for an unknown reason. Kendall wasn’t really sure, and he was too irritated to think to ask.

He sighed in frustration when he couldn’t find any relief from the couch cushion, and sat up again, reaching behind his shoulder to scratch at his shoulder blade. Over the past few days, the skin on his upper back had been feeling increasingly irritated, and no amount of scratching helped.

“You okay?” Carlos asked, glancing over at him from the other side of the couch.

“No," Kendall said, grimacing slightly. "My back itches.”

“Want me to scratch it for you?” Carlos asked, already leaning forward to get up, and move closer to Kendall.

Kendall glanced over at Carlos in surprise at the offer, smiling despite himself. “No, that’s okay. It won’t help anyway. It’s my wings,” he said, shrugging uncomfortably, feeling a little embarrassed at bringing it up.

It never got any less ridiculous to say that out loud. Of course, the fact that he had _wings_ at all was ridiculous all on its own. He was just glad he had the ability to hide them. Walking around with a pair of huge feathery wings would have been embarrassing, not to mention hard to explain to everyone.

Only his mom, Katie, and the other boys knew about them. His family was a given, there was no way to hide them from his mom and sister, but the boys he had chosen to tell on his own. He knew he could trust them, and it didn't feel like he was being completely himself with them by keeping it a secret. So, he'd invited them all to his house one summer night before their first year of high school and showed them.

They had all reacted differently. Logan had a hard time believing at first, saying that it was impossible even though they were right there in front of him to see and touch if he wanted to. James had seemed almost jealous at first before he quickly realized how inconvenient they were and got over it and Carlos had reacted with wonder and awe.

“I think I need to go out and stretch them again," Kendall continued with a sigh.

It was a hassle but occasionally he had to go out and let his wings out, to stretch and groom them. Keeping them hidden away for too long left them feeling cramped and the feathers usually got all messed up. He was way overdue for a grooming anyway. They’d been so busy that he’d been putting it off for longer than he usually did.

He was really regretting that now.

He got to his feet and rolled his shoulders. Now that he was thinking about it, he couldn’t wait to let them out.

He just wished he could've done it there in the apartment, but it was too small and cramped. If he did it there, he wouldn't be able to stretch them out properly and be right back where he was sooner rather than later.

He usually went to the Palmwood Park late at night when there wasn’t anyone around. It was risky, anyone could walk by and see him, but it was worth the risk to get rid of the uncomfortable itch. Besides, at this time of night, pretty much everyone was inside sleeping.

Carlos looked up at him, leaning forward on the couch again. “Can I come with you?”

Kendall turned to Carlos and swallowed softly. Carlos always asked to come with him to help and it had become a thing for them. There was nothing wrong with it. Carlos' company made the time fly by, and he was able to get the spots that Kendall wouldn’t be able to reach on his own, but lately he'd been feeling weird around Carlos, stomach twisting and heart pounding when he was too close. He tried not to think about it too much, but he didn't know how he would react to Carlos touching his wings now.

Still, he couldn't say no to Carlos, not when he was looking at him with such a hopeful expression on his face.

“Sure thing," he said with a small smile, and nodded.

Carlos smiled wide, and bounced to his feet, throwing his arms up. “Awesome!”

—

When they got to the small clearing in the park, Kendall made sure there was no one around before he stripped off his shirt. He glanced over at Carlos as he let it fall to the ground, feeling Carlos’ gaze on him. He tried not to read too much in the way Carlos' eyes raked over his bare torso. It didn't mean anything. Carlos was just excited about seeing his wings. Of all the boys, Carlos was the only one that still got excited about them after all these years.

He sighed, and pushed his thoughts aside, focusing on the what he was doing. He breathed in deep and let it out slowly, concentrating on the feel of his wings at his back. There was a slight shift in the air around him then suddenly he could feel the actual weight of his wings at his back.

It was a really subtle change, because he always felt them. It was just a little different when they were corporeal. It was hard to explain and every time Logan asked, he would trip over finding the right words for it. They were always there and he could still feel them even when they weren't visible. It was just like they were on a different plane or something, someplace cramped and uncomfortable.

It was confusing and frustrating to explain to someone that didn't already know.

He heard Carlos let out a small "wow" and couldn't help but smirk. They may have been an inconvenience but Kendall was still ridiculously proud of his wings. They were huge, feathers almost pure white but gradually darkening to a gray the closer they got to Kendall's back.

He let out a tiny sigh of relief as he spread them, closing his eyes. The tension he had been feeling had lessened a great deal and the itch was almost completely gone.

“Are you going to try to fly this time?”

Kendall's eyes snapped open and he turned to Carlos, chuckling lightly. Carlos asked that every time Kendall let his wings out. “I already told you Carlos, I don’t know _how_.” He had never learned. His father had promised him when he was little that he’d teach him as soon as he was old enough, but he’d left before he could. Kendall had always resented him for that, among other things.

“But you can at least try!”

Kendall sighed. Despite not being taught, he _had_ still tried once, shortly after he realized his father was never coming back. He'd climbed onto the roof of house, spread his wings, and leapt off. He'd fallen and broken his arm, and his mother had been so angry and scared that she'd made him promise that he'd never do it again.

He hadn't, but Kendall wanted to. Someday he wanted to go somewhere completely remote and teach himself how to fly. LA was too crowded, there were too many people and buildings and he didn't want to run the risk of being seen. He was already running a risk by coming out like this.

"Maybe some other time."

"You always say that..." Carlos said, and Kendall didn't need to look at him to see the pout on his face. He could hear it in his tone alone.

He turned to him anyway, grinning slightly when he saw that he was right and Carlos’ bottom lip was protruding in a pout. "Are you going to help me or not?" he asked, shaking his wings out slightly. 

They were messy, feathers going in all different directions. It would take him a couple hours to do it on his own and even then he wouldn’t be able to reach all of the feathers, so he really did need Carlos’ help.

Carlos’ face instantly transformed from a pout to a bright smile. He bounced forward to stand beside Kendall, eyes fixated on Kendall’s wings. Kendall could easily see he was anxious to touch them again.

Kendall was a little anxious about it too, stomach fluttering at the thought of Carlos’ fingers running over his feathers. When he was younger, his mother would help him, but when he finally told the other boys and especially after they moved to LA, Carlos was the one he went to for help, and not just because Carlos was the only one still excited about it.

He cleared his throat softly, pushing the thought away and sat down in the grass, crossing his legs. His wings fluttered behind him as he gathered the ends, setting them in his lap so they wouldn’t get dirty.

Carlos dropped down on his knees next to Kendall and gingerly reached out to pet Kendall's wing, fingers lightly ghosting over the feathers. The look on his face was full of wonder and admiration. It made Kendall's stomach dip slightly knowing that _he_ was the cause of that expression. Or his wings were anyway, but same difference. His wings were a part of him after all.

"Do you remember how to do it?" He asked, more to distract himself from the way he was reacting to Carlos than anything else.

Carlos' eyes snapped towards Kendall and he nodded quickly. "I'm not dumb," Carlos said, the 'duh' not spoken but obvious in his tone all the same.

Kendall let out a huff of amusement. "I never said you were.”

Carlos didn't respond, eyes focused on Kendall's wing. He ran his fingertips lightly over the feathers again, before he really got to work, pushing the feathers around until they were all going in the same direction. 

Kendall closed his eyes for a moment and focused on the feel of Carlos' fingers running over his feathers. It kind of tickled with the way Carlos was touching them lightly. It almost felt like someone running their fingers lightly over Kendall’s skin, and he had to suppress a shudder at the sensation.

It felt really good and Kendall let himself enjoy it for a moment before he shook himself out of it and got started on his other wing. It wasn't the same when he touched his own wings. It still felt nice when the feathers were finally straightened and no longer in disarray, but it didn’t feel as good as when Carlos did it.

If he could just sit there and let Carlos do it, he wouldn't mind, but it would take longer and he didn’t want Carlos to know just how much Kendall enjoyed having his wings touched by him.

—

“Do you think maybe you’re part angel?” Carlos asked some time later, hands slowing against Kendall’s wings. He sounded like he'd been thinking about it for a long time and finally couldn't keep the question to himself anymore.

Kendall looked over at Carlos in surprise, before he chuckled. “I don’t think so,” he said, shaking his head.

He didn’t really know, if he was honest. He knew that he'd inherited his wings from his father, but he didn’t really know much about him. He’d asked his mother once, but she didn’t know much about him either. At least not about where he came from, and his father had left when he was so young, he hadn’t had time to ask him any of the questions he had now.

“I think you are,” Carlos said with a firm nod of his head, running the palm of his hand down the inside of Kendall’s wing.

Kendall laughed, distracted from his thoughts. “Well, I might be. Who knows?” he said, shrugging lightly. “Though, I think I'm more likely to be part pigeon than angel.” he continued with a wry smile.

Carlos' eyes widened slightly and he shook his head fervently. "No way! You're definitely an angel. Your wings are way too beautiful to be anything else," he said with another firm nod of his head.

Kendall swallowed, throat suddenly feeling dry at the certainty in Carlos’ voice. He stared at Carlos, blush spreading across his cheeks before he ducked his head to hide it, smiling to himself. Carlos always sounded so sincere when he said stuff like that, Kendall never knew how to respond.

"If you say so...” he said, shrugging awkwardly.

Carlos nodded again, eyes focused on Kendall’s wing once more as he stroked it, making sure all the feathers were straight. "I do,” he said, brows furrowed slightly in concentration.

Kendall smiled again, trying to ignore the warm rush of affection he suddenly felt for Carlos. He cleared his throat roughly and turned back to his wing. “Well, okay, then.”

—

They fell into another silence, both focused on their task and it wasn’t until Carlos was standing up to reach the feathers at the top of Kendall’s wing that Kendall realized he was half hard. He froze in surprise, wings fluttering behind him nervously. He’d been so focused on his wings and ignoring the sensation of Carlos’ fingers pushing through his feathers that he hadn’t even noticed how his body was reacting to the stimulation.

Carlos stopped what he was doing, taking a small step back. “You okay? Did I hurt you?” he asked in concern.

Kendall flushed and placed his hand in his lap instinctively. He didn’t know why, it was dark and his lap was already obscured by his wings so it wasn’t like Carlos would be able to notice anything, but Kendall still didn’t want to risk it. “No, I’m fine,” he said, then cleared his throat. “Keep going.”

Carlos stood there for a moment before Kendall saw him shrug out of the corner of his eye and moved forward again, hands reaching up to touch Kendall’s wing again.

Kendall breathed deeply and slowly, trying to will his growing erection away. The last thing he needed was a boner because Carlos was touching him. He didn’t even understand why. It wasn’t like it was the first time Carlos had touched his wings. Kendall had never reacted this way before. Sure, it’d always felt good, but not _that_ good.

And now that he was aware of it, it was all Kendall could focus on. Every brush of Carlos’ fingers sent small bursts of pleasure down Kendall’s spine, heat pooling low in his belly. He knew he should stop Carlos, send him home and finish grooming his wings himself. He wouldn’t be able to reach all the feathers but it wouldn’t be right to let Carlos continue. It would be wrong and Kendall could already feel the guilt mixing in with the pleasure he was feeling.

Before Kendall could say anything, Carlos was moving around him to kneel behind him, trailing a hand down Kendall’s wings towards Kendall’s back. “Does your back still itch?” he suddenly asked, running his fingernails lightly down Kendall’s back.

Kendall sat up sharply, back arching slightly at the unexpected solid touch, so different from the phantom touch of Carlos touching his wings. He took a deep breath and shook his head. “Not really. It usually stops once I let my wings out,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady.

Carlos hummed softly in acknowledgment, but still dragged his nails down the middle of Kendall's back again, adding a little more pressure.

Kendall bit his bottom lip, closing his eyes. “You don’t have to do that,” he said, voice coming out more breathless than he cared for.

“I know. I want to.”

Kendall swallowed and licked his lips quickly. “O-okay.”

Carlos ran his fingers down Kendall’s back a few more times before he suddenly stopped, placing his hand flat against Kendall’s back. Kendall glanced over his shoulder, curiously, moving his wing out of the way so he could see Carlos’ face. He looked thoughtful, like he wasn’t sure what he was going to do next but then he was sliding his hand up Kendall’s back to his shoulder, reaching up with his other hand to grasp the other.

Before Kendall knew it, Carlos was squeezing his shoulders, rubbing small circles into the muscles with his thumbs. Kendall didn’t really know what to do at first. A back massage was never part of their usual routine but he wasn’t going to complain. It felt good and Carlos’ hands were warm against his skin, solid and strong as they pressed against his aching back muscles.

“Does that feel okay?” Carlos asked, sounding unusually shy.

Kendall couldn’t help but smile slightly. “It feels amazing,” he said, shoulders and wings drooping slightly. He hadn’t realized how much he needed a massage, how tense he was, until that very moment. He let himself relax into to the touch, closing his eyes as Carlos’ hands slid down his back, pressing firmly into his skin.

Suddenly, Carlos’ finger caught in the small downy feathers where his wings met skin and he stiffened, wings twitching in surprise as he bit back a moan at the small touch. The feathers and skin there were really sensitive.

Carlos stopped what he was doing, pulling his hands away quickly. “Are you okay?”

Kendall sighed and nodded. “Yeah. Just…don’t touch there again.”

“Why?”

Kendall swallowed. “It’s a really sensitive spot.”

“Oh...”

Kendall glanced over his shoulder at Carlos, wanting to see what he was thinking. Carlos was staring at Kendall’s back, another thoughtful look on his face.

“Good sensitive or bad sensitive?” he suddenly asked, glancing up at Kendall curiously.

Kendall tensed again at the question. “What?”

“Does it hurt when I touch you there, or does it feel good?”

“Um...” Kendall blanked, not sure which was worse, letting Carlos think he was hurting Kendall, or letting him know that his touch actually felt really good.

“Or does it tickle?” Carlos continued, lightly touching Kendall’s back again, fingertips ruffling the small, downy feathers.

Kendall’s mouth fell open and he quickly turned away to hide his face. He tried to breathe through it. “St-stop,” he said, voice coming strangled. He was relieved when Carlos actually did, pulling his hand away. He swallowed and licked his lips quickly. “It hurts.”

Carlos was quiet for a moment. “You’re lying,” he said softly.

Kendall sighed and closed his eyes, shoulder drooping slightly. “Maybe.”

He felt Carlos moving behind him, hands bracing on his shoulders before there was a small pressure against the back of his neck. His eyes snapped opened at the sensation and he sat there dumbfounded. It almost felt like Carlos had just kissed his neck, but that seemed impossible.

He lifted his head and straightened his back to look over his shoulder again. “Did you just...” He trailed off, brows furrowed slightly in confusion.

Carlos ducked his head, biting his bottom lip. “Um, maybe...?”

Kendall’s heart thudded in his chest and he quickly turned around so he was on his knees facing Carlos.

Carlos kept his gaze down, staring down at his hands clenched together in his lap. Kendall slowly reached out to cup his face in both hands, lifting his face so Carlos was looking up at him. 

Carlos' eyes were wide and a little scared. He swallowed thickly, tongue quickly darting across his bottom lip. “Kendall, I...” he started, but Kendall didn’t let him finish.

He leaned forward and pressed his mouth firmly against Carlos’, eyes drifting shut when their lips made contact. Carlos’ mouth was soft and pliant against Kendall’s, but unresponsive. Kendall’s stomach dropped when he made that realization and he quickly pulled away.

Carlos was staring at him with wide eyes, shock written all across his face.

Kendall licked his lips nervously, hoping he hadn’t misread the situation. “Was-was that okay?” he asked, more nervous than he would ever admit.

Carlos stared at him for a moment more before he nodded, lips stretching into a smile. “That was...perfect,” he said, eyes flicking to Kendall’s mouth as he licked his lips slowly. “Can we...do that again?”

Kendall chuckled, body relaxing knowing that he hadn’t read the situation wrong at all and nodded. “Of course,” he said and leaned forward again, pressing his lips gently against Carlos’ once more.

This time Carlos responded almost immediately, lips slowly moving against Kendall’s. Kendall couldn’t help but smile against Carlos’ mouth, reaching up to cup Carlos’ face again, thumbs caressing Carlos’ cheeks gently.

He kept the kiss sweet and gentle, lips moving softly against Carlos’. He didn’t want to rush anything, wanted to savor every little moment because he didn’t know if he’d get another chance to kiss Carlos like this. He hadn’t even realized how much he wanted to kiss Carlos until the moment their lips touched, but now that he was there, he wasn’t going to let anything get between them, especially not his own impatience.

When Kendall eventually pulled away, panting and licking his lips quickly, Carlos followed his mouth eagerly, leaning further into Kendall’s space. Kendall let out a muffled noise of surprise before chuckling softly into the kiss, placing his hands on Carlos’ shoulders to steady him.

Carlos placed his hand on Kendall’s chest, and it felt like a brand, Carlos’ palm hot against Kendall’s bare skin. Kendall couldn’t stop the small moan that escaped him at the touch. He placed his hand over Carlos’, clutching at it and pressing it further against his pounding heart.

Carlos parted his lips and gingerly ran his tongue across Kendall’s bottom lip. Kendall’s heart skipped and he opened up for him without a thought, a soft groan escaping him as Carlos’ tongue darted between his lips. Carlos shuffled closer, laying his other hand on Kendall’s thigh, squeezing gently as he leaned forward, pressing further into the kiss.

Carlos was so eager and earnest, Kendall could barely think straight. All he knew was that he wanted more, wanted to feel Carlos’ mouth everywhere, wanted his body pressed against his own, wanted to wrap Carlos in his wings and shut out the rest of the world so it was just the two of them.

Carlos’ hand started sliding up Kendall’s thigh and Kendall groaned, spreading his legs slightly. He felt hot all over, still half-hard in his jeans and only getting worse the more Carlos touched him, kissed him.

He squeezed Carlos’ shoulders, knowing he needed to stop before they went too far. He pushed gently as he pulled back, breaking the kiss. “Carlos, wait,” he tried to say, but Carlos wasn’t having any of it. He lurched forward, reconnecting their lips with such force that he ended up knocking Kendall off balance.

Kendall flailed his arms in surprise as he fell back, landing hard on his wings with Carlos landing on top of him. He let out a sharp hiss of pain and Carlos quickly scrambled off.

“Oh my god, Kendall, are you okay?” he gasped as Kendall pushed himself back into a sitting position.

Kendall winced softly, wings fluttering behind him. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Carlos asked, eyes trailing worriedly over Kendall and his wings.

Kendall nodded and huffed in amusement. “Yeah, but I think I’m just going to put these away now and we can continue this at home,” Kendall said and got to his feet. He focused on his wings, felt the same shift in the air as before and knew that they were gone once more. He could still feel them, tight and cramped in whatever space they were in, and rolled his shoulders, trying to get them to adjust to the feeling again.

Carlos looked down, biting his bottom lip. “I’m sorry…”

Kendall shook his head and reached for Carlos’ hand. “Hey,” he said softly, waiting until Carlos looked up before he smiled at him. “It’s okay. You don’t have anything to be sorry about.” If there was one thing Carlos should never be sorry for, it was his enthusiasm. If Carlos reacted that way to just kissing, Kendall couldn’t wait to find out how he reacted when they did other things.

“But I hurt you!”

Kendall laughed and shook his head again. “No, you didn’t. Come on, Carlos. I’m tougher than that,” he said with a small grin. He then leaned down, pressing a quick kiss to Carlos’ mouth before he pulled away, tugging on Carlos’ hand. “Now, come on. It’s late, we should get back.”

Carlos nodded and followed beside him as Kendall started back toward the apartment, lips stretched in a wide smile. This wasn’t how he expected the night to go, but he wasn’t complaining and for the first time ever, he was stupidly grateful to be a freak with wings.


End file.
